I hope that your life is much easier in this respect than mine. Quadriplegia suddenly encountered at fifty years of age has made vividly clear to me both the vulnerability of the human body, and the myriad ways my well-being depends on both the regard and the labors of others. The accident occurred twenty-nine days after my fiftieth birthday. Not until I reached the rehab hospital a month after the accident could I begin to put into words a body that seemed beyond the reach of language. I only knew that I had been grievously injured, and was lost in space.

(The cord was not severed, so over many months I regained limited, but functional, strength in my arms and, to a significantly lesser degree, my hands.) Lying in the intensive care unit of Hartford hospital, I knew very little about the present and nothing about the future.

I also lost control of my bladder and bowels. There’s no knowing right away exactly what impairments will result from a spinal cord injury, but as the days passed, it became clear that I had lost the use not only of my leg muscles, but also the muscles of my torso, arms, and hands, and that the loss of muscle compromised my body’s circulatory systems. The broken bone scraped my spinal cord, and in an instant I was paralyzed. My chin took the full force of the blow, which smashed my face and broke the fifth and sixth cervical vertebrae in my neck. On October 1, 2003, I caught a branch in the spokes of the front wheel of my bicycle, and hurtled toward the pavement. Masculine, Feminine, or Fourth of Julyġ4.

The stiff Heart questions ‘was it He, that bore,’įirst–Chill–then Stupor–then the letting go–ħ.

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A Body, Undone by Christina Crosby